It's about 7:49 and i woke up @ 5... I should be tired... In which i am... but i can't seem to sleep... Sadly i am afraid to... Yesterday was such a heart break, but i need to move on. He doesn't care... like he said he never did then i shouldn't either... But i just can't seem to say i don't care... I know i said i love'd you and ended up telling you i didn't love you yet... I just wish you could understand everything i been through... How much time i need to love you. 4 weeks isn't just enough. You say you love me... but what is love, if you can't even hold on to someone you "love". We all make mistakes and to you my mistakes seemed to hurt more then it should've, which makes no sense to me. This isn't your korean drama's this is reality so open your eyes. I don't know what love is to you... but your love seems to mean nothing to me... Where are you gonna get if you can't even hold on to someone you "love". I don't understand you... It hurts to know i still care so much and i want us to work... but i'm sitting thinking... Whats the point you don't even know where your going with this. I'm so stupid to let you run over me like that. I needa start speaking up. You don't know whats its like to watch your heart break 3 times... and it was my fault to stand there and watch... but i couldn't help it. I'm only human... & its funny how you said i hurt you and your human... thats really funny. What hurt do you feel? I still gave you the time of day. You just dropped me like i was just a toy. Man i don't k now what to do anymore. Just like i told steven... Pick up my heart and move on? Thats all i can do.
&& kenny... i told you, your just my friend. This doesn't mean you need to know everything in my life. So stop trying. Let me live my life. If i don't tell you anything then deal with it @tleast you got the chance you wanted, except it.
everything is just happening to fast, to early... just like before dk walked in... but now i don't have dk to pick me up... The heart ache seems to be coming back. God i need to sleep... I wish i lived next to the beach... I'd sit there until the sun goes down and i'd sit there until the sun goes up... Man i don't know what i want, what i want to do. Stupid boy :( ... He's better at this game then i am. I look so gross... i'm so pale now and i hate it so much... :/ i wish i was tannn like before. I look sick... I hope there's something wrong with me... I just can't live like this anymore... 3 heart breaks in a row... My heart just can't seem to take this aching pain... I just can't watch myself hurt, i don't wanna feel pain.... I sound so emo :/ It sicken's me.
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