OOPS

i just noticed i spelled wasted as waist LOL oops CHANEL caught it oh well idgaf (: haha i love you chanel <3 well yea, sorry if i mispell stuff leave me ALONE haha xD

Lesson's

I guess going through all that pain, all that time i waisted, and the effort i put into him may have been a waist? but he was once someone i wanted to be with. and no matter how hard i try to forget him, i learned i never will, its hard to forget people once they walked in. i guess the whole time i've been trying to forget him, i've waisted time, cause its not about forget its about moving on. i only cried so much, and the reason's why i couldn't stop thinking about you, because i wanted to, i keep telling myself i couldn't forget you or i couldn't stop thinking of you when really i could've stop but i guess i didn't want to... cause i didn't want to let go yet, i didn't wanna think i lost you, and i didn't wanna tell myself imma get hurt... when really i was just hurting myself, not him me... and i hated it, cause its like i just let you step all over me like i was nothing, like i just let you take over me like you owed me.... and i was pathetic and stupid... but you know what not anymore, i my miss you once in a while, and thats normal & sometimes i might miss you more then i should. but you know what imma keep going, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how rough it gets. i will move on either with or without you. and i'm not gonna let you stomp all over me again, i'm not. i'm sick of having to wait around for someone who won't come around, someone who doesn't even treat me right after all the shit that happened, and someone who acually follows through. i'm sick of it, and i'm tired of how all i said i was sick and tired, and how i didn't do shit about it but mope around for you... but i'm done with that. imma keep looking forward. no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much i miss you, imma stop looking back, imma stop running back. cause us is no more, and i'm through with your silly games. i'm done babe. imma keep looking forward, because its about the present & the future NOT the past. babe i'm gone and done with you. i'm done (':

DONE.

What you said yesterday hurt like a alskdf... and i guess thats how its gonna be now right? thats how you wanna be right? then ok i'll just leave you alone. atleast in the end i know i tried my best, and gave it my all, and if that wasn't enough for you then whatever. so imma live with or without you and daymn if its without you i'll still live it to the fullest. (':

it SUCKS

so the other day gilbert was like oh look missy _____ has a new girlfriend, and she's prettier then you WTF you jerk, sometimes i just wanna fucken ugh... i'm not supose to cuss :/ daymn it. yea, and i tried talkingto him again.. yesterday, and he was such an alskdfg i hate how i still care so much for him... life's a roler coaster.. but when can i finally get off?... anyways i'm sick of writing most of m blogges about him. he's not in my life anymore so it doesn't matter. So i planned my birthday party thingy (: haha can't wait ^_____^; hehe. well i really don't have much to say so imma end it here. bye bye.

HELLO;

hey there,
so like today was kinda weird. talking to you feels good, but it feels different, but thats normal right? i hope it is. we'll yea, so many boy problems with the girls i know :/ why? haha its ok things getter better over time (: i should know haha, we'll i fucked up on my biology project DAYMMMN IT. oh shit we ran mile today :/ i have blisters and they hurt like crazy... i got 7:40 i never knew i could run that fast ! hehe track next year? (: dayyyymn. my dad kinda be pissing me off shiit! he's been getting on my nerves, he's fucken annoying as shit man, its not even funny. he's need o shut the hell up once in a while fuck. dumb ass needs to give me room to fucken breathe man. we'll yea, its weird being friends, cause i thought yea.. we'll now i gotta get used to it ! atleast i'm not attached anymore... and i was about to try once more, but lucky i didn't or i would've have had to start over and deal with all this bull shit. not the mofucking best feeelings... it stucks shit. ehhh, imma stop talking about him now lol i'm kinda annoying myself.. we'll block shit tmm again ! fucken two hours :/ daymmmmn sucks shit man... so i think i should cool down on texting? maybe lol. myspace is pissing me off... or we'll my computer is like retarted when it comes to myspace WHY! well my head is hurting, i wonder why... it always hurts now of days, like my tummy GEZZZZZZY. well yea, i miss talking to my bestfriend, now of days. he's always just to daymn bussy and shit. dayyymn sucks to go to difference schoool's... i have like so much to tell him... ugh. you know whats funny? like when people say other people are two faces, backstabbers, and etc. i think were like all one, once in our lives we've done something like that, and probally still do so why do people still say that hate people like that? cause thats like being a hypocrite, cause you've probally have done something like that in your life. i noticed i learned ALOT, just from one guy haha, weird. who knew i'd learn so much (': hehe imma go dowload some more songs please! haha bye bye

(': PROUD

HELLO LOVES;
so here it goes again, haha you fell for her again lol thats cute (: you guys do make a cute couple. You made me realize i never needed someone by my side i just needed to believe i could do it myself, on my OWN. We'll yea , people still think i like him but i'm over it, done and gone. (: i'm tired of waiting for someone who will never be there, and i'm sick of running back to someone who doesn't even seem to stand in one place. & i can say i did care for you so much, and still do as a friend. So much to say, but yea. It doesn't matter now, never did never will. And i'm acually ok with that, cause in the end, i learned that things happen for a reason. Even if you think it shouldn't (: , everyone has UP's and DOWN's . I guess, acually no i KNOW i'm done (': and i can't believe i ever thought i'd ever say that again. Haha, i'm happy were still friends , i miss talking to you... and now i don't have to haha cause were cool and what not :'D . Just know when you need someone i'll be here, like a friend should be (: & hopefully you'll be there for me. We'll i wish you two the best of luck ^____________^


i can finally say I'M DONE & GONE (': <3

What a Moody Day..

Hello bloggers,
so today was kinda wack... everything was ok in the morning and stuff, then all of a sudden my hopes just went crashing down... and i don't know how the hell it happened just so daymn fast man... it was getting better in 6th, but then i just broke apart after school for no reason... and i don't know how the fuck i fell apart so fast... like everything just crashed down... i guess being far away from him doesn't help, maybe i need to be even farther ! dayymnnn it :/ we'll right now i'm trying to stay ^, all i gotta do is believe i can do this then i will be able to stay ^ i just gotta do this. i'm not gonna stand there and act like i miss him, even though i do. i'm done waiting, and running back to him. now i just gotta let go, of someone who isn't even there. if he doesn't care then i gotta learn to do the same. and imma stay strong, even if everything goes wrong.. imma stay strong. i'm tired of people stomping all over me like they own me and shit. well yea, my day was wack ass. and i found out some stuff but i'm not gonna stay anything cause yea lol INTERNET. so yea, i THINK i'm going to a party tmm for jasmine and danny ! ^____^ <3 we'll yea, i had to plan a new place for my birthday party cause the party tmm is at the place i wanted it but its all good i'll do it somewhere else (:, only CLOSE FRIENDS <3 ^____^ kekehe. MUSIC MUSIC, time to sing loves, bye bye

Feeling Better.

So i guess i feel a tad bit better? Thanks to Shell, Melissa, KennyFN, Kenny 22 <3. They mean alot(: and i'm happy i have them in my life.. i don't know what i would do without people like them <3 i'd seriously break haha(': and i don't ever wanna loose them ^_____^<3

My Feelings..

So everyone says i know how you feel, how to deal with it, and what to do... Yet i still don't have an answer... I'm stuck between my dreams and reality... have you ever felt like you gave your everything for one person, and you could tell because you've never gave the time of day to anyone until this person came in? Like you learned that you could acually love someone, and mean it. You felt like you really did try your best to keep the relationship going, you tried not to listen to what others say, and at the same time you tried to change that person? Well thats how i feel... I put almost everything down for this person, i told him stuff i didn't tell anyone else... And i acually told my mom about this guy... And i seriously thought i'd end my life with him.. For some reason... I acually "FELL IN LOVE" with him... Its like this... When i talked to him i get butterflies..., Even if i talk about him, or say his name, i get butterflies..., He texts me every morning just to say good morning..., He was there when i needed him..., He made me feel so comfortable, yet shy..., I told him things i couldn't tell other people..., I told my mom about him, the first guy i've ever told her about..., When he hugged me, i felt like fuck the rest of the world, it was just me and him..., When he kissed me it was like WOW..., He said goodnight every night..., LOL when he copied me it was cute...,All i wanted was to be with him... thats all i wanted... but its something i can't have now... cause he's gone, and were DONE... & it hurts cause i really thought... yea... and the thing is when he hurt me and got with someone else right after i still ended up running back, and getting hurt AGIAN... and yet i'm still sitting here blogging about you... WHY...? All i do now is listen to music to zone myself out from everyone else... the rest of the world... if i caught the swine flu i wouldn't give a shit... i don't know what to do... you could handle me at my worst, and bring out my best... and now its like i can't even run to anyone... cause all they say is forget him, but i can't... i'm trying... i truely am... it hurts to know that you've moved on so quick... like i never meant a thing to you, i was just another one of your girl toys... someone you could play with, YET I'M STILL SITTING HERE... I hate how i just want to run back again... but there's no point and no meaning to it... cause all imma end up with is getting hurt AGAIN... then having to start over with the mending... And you already have a new girl... so what makes me think, you think of me...? Its funny how i can stay strong for couple hours, or a day then totally break down when i see you... I acually fell for you NOT your looks...I don't know what to do anymore, where to run... i'm tired... i miss you, and it hurts to know i still do...