My Feelings..

So everyone says i know how you feel, how to deal with it, and what to do... Yet i still don't have an answer... I'm stuck between my dreams and reality... have you ever felt like you gave your everything for one person, and you could tell because you've never gave the time of day to anyone until this person came in? Like you learned that you could acually love someone, and mean it. You felt like you really did try your best to keep the relationship going, you tried not to listen to what others say, and at the same time you tried to change that person? Well thats how i feel... I put almost everything down for this person, i told him stuff i didn't tell anyone else... And i acually told my mom about this guy... And i seriously thought i'd end my life with him.. For some reason... I acually "FELL IN LOVE" with him... Its like this... When i talked to him i get butterflies..., Even if i talk about him, or say his name, i get butterflies..., He texts me every morning just to say good morning..., He was there when i needed him..., He made me feel so comfortable, yet shy..., I told him things i couldn't tell other people..., I told my mom about him, the first guy i've ever told her about..., When he hugged me, i felt like fuck the rest of the world, it was just me and him..., When he kissed me it was like WOW..., He said goodnight every night..., LOL when he copied me it was cute...,All i wanted was to be with him... thats all i wanted... but its something i can't have now... cause he's gone, and were DONE... & it hurts cause i really thought... yea... and the thing is when he hurt me and got with someone else right after i still ended up running back, and getting hurt AGIAN... and yet i'm still sitting here blogging about you... WHY...? All i do now is listen to music to zone myself out from everyone else... the rest of the world... if i caught the swine flu i wouldn't give a shit... i don't know what to do... you could handle me at my worst, and bring out my best... and now its like i can't even run to anyone... cause all they say is forget him, but i can't... i'm trying... i truely am... it hurts to know that you've moved on so quick... like i never meant a thing to you, i was just another one of your girl toys... someone you could play with, YET I'M STILL SITTING HERE... I hate how i just want to run back again... but there's no point and no meaning to it... cause all imma end up with is getting hurt AGAIN... then having to start over with the mending... And you already have a new girl... so what makes me think, you think of me...? Its funny how i can stay strong for couple hours, or a day then totally break down when i see you... I acually fell for you NOT your looks...I don't know what to do anymore, where to run... i'm tired... i miss you, and it hurts to know i still do...