RE-peat..

HELLO BLOGGERS,
so remember how i said i was over him? we'll i'm not :/ and it sucks.. I'm going through the same shit with him.. and we aren't even getting anywhere.. SO WTF am i doing..? whats wrong with me.. I mean i see what he's doing to me, and i even hate it but why does my heart keep wanting more... I'm like broken inside and i don't even know how i'm supose to put the pieces back... YET i still have the nerve to let him in... :T why can't i fucken listen to my best friend... I mean i put more effort into us then he does... and he's supose to prove me wrong, show me that he's worth everything... but right now were no where close. I always had this feeling that if i did open up and let you know i'm here, you'd come around.. but right now i'm loosing hope babe... i'm loosing it... i can't do this anymore.. its like i'm walking alone.. the reason why i gave him another chance cause i din't wanna walk alone, i wanted him... that why, i didn't wanna sit here and pour my fucken heart till it hurts.. i didn't want us to end like this... If we aren't getting anywhere then why am i still trying.. why do i still want us to work... why do i even care... babe i can't do this with you anymore.. i can't be there when your not.. i can't love someone who doesn't even love me back.. i can't hear you say your gonna be there when your not.. i don't wanna hear you say i love and not mean it.. i don't want to be apart of your life if you dont' want me to.. i'm trying to hard to make us work.. i'm trying to hard to love you.. i'm trying to hard to forget you.. i'm trying just to daymn hard... babe i'm drown... i don't know what i want anymore... what to do ... i keep listening to you and end up crying ... i'm sick of pouring my heart for you.. i'm sick of having no sleep thinkging about you, when your sleeping like were nothing... i'm sick of this... i can't do this aymore.. i can't be here for you anymore... i can't ... i can't look at you and smile like i'm ok. babe i can't. i'm not ok anymore. i'm running in circles & you know it. really if were not gonna get anywhere, i'm done babe... i can't stand here & be here for you when your not here for me..

big sister melissa katherina le :To let go isn't to forget, not to think about it, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride, and its not about how you appear, and it's not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss. To let go is to cherish memories, to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind in confidence for the future. Letting go is learning, experiencing, and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. it is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and let yourself free.

i don't know what to do anymore, i don't know where to go. BUT what we had isn't gonna be a regret i promise you that. i don't know what were gonna be, or how were gonna work our shit out, BUT i loved you... and probally always will