Finally over

So were done, and it feels good to know things are off my shoulder. Hopefully for sure this time. I can't believe i listened to your BS your sweet talk lol, all you do is sweet talk baby. I hope you go far with that [;! i should've opened my eyes to see thats all you did was sweet talk and all i did was believe you'd change... thats all i wanted to hear... but now that i'm willing to let go it feels hella good. i miss you ever once in a while but man i'm done trying. i gave you my all and thats all i could give. and to you baby that pratically meant nothing. your probally fucken with some new girls. i can't see you with anyone but yourself. i really wished it worked out differently but really at the same time i d c cause i'm ok i'm fine without you. (': i got this in the bag. i got this. R.I.P; 11709

wow.

so haha its funny i lost my best friend kevin (: ... but it doesn't matter cause he didn't give a shit so i'm not. whatta bad bad bad bad day..

poem.

It hurts to know you walk around like were nothing
its funny how you say you love me and walk out
its sad to know i gave you my everything
but the worst part is i let you in OVER & OVER
i gave you another reason to break me
i gave you the satisfaction to play with my head
i kept telling myself your were different
i kept telling myself you were gonna change
was it wrong to fight for someone i wanted?
was it bad to like someone without thinking?
now that i sit here & think about you & us
all i can think about how i let you play with my heart
how i coulnd't stop myself from liking you
and just let you ruin my life, like it was a game
when i had the chance to let you go i didn't
because for once in my life it felt good to have you
for once it felt like i had someone
& for once it felt like i had you
but now where i'm standing there's no us
& now there's no you
-melissa missy le.

RE-peat..

HELLO BLOGGERS,
so remember how i said i was over him? we'll i'm not :/ and it sucks.. I'm going through the same shit with him.. and we aren't even getting anywhere.. SO WTF am i doing..? whats wrong with me.. I mean i see what he's doing to me, and i even hate it but why does my heart keep wanting more... I'm like broken inside and i don't even know how i'm supose to put the pieces back... YET i still have the nerve to let him in... :T why can't i fucken listen to my best friend... I mean i put more effort into us then he does... and he's supose to prove me wrong, show me that he's worth everything... but right now were no where close. I always had this feeling that if i did open up and let you know i'm here, you'd come around.. but right now i'm loosing hope babe... i'm loosing it... i can't do this anymore.. its like i'm walking alone.. the reason why i gave him another chance cause i din't wanna walk alone, i wanted him... that why, i didn't wanna sit here and pour my fucken heart till it hurts.. i didn't want us to end like this... If we aren't getting anywhere then why am i still trying.. why do i still want us to work... why do i even care... babe i can't do this with you anymore.. i can't be there when your not.. i can't love someone who doesn't even love me back.. i can't hear you say your gonna be there when your not.. i don't wanna hear you say i love and not mean it.. i don't want to be apart of your life if you dont' want me to.. i'm trying to hard to make us work.. i'm trying to hard to love you.. i'm trying to hard to forget you.. i'm trying just to daymn hard... babe i'm drown... i don't know what i want anymore... what to do ... i keep listening to you and end up crying ... i'm sick of pouring my heart for you.. i'm sick of having no sleep thinkging about you, when your sleeping like were nothing... i'm sick of this... i can't do this aymore.. i can't be here for you anymore... i can't ... i can't look at you and smile like i'm ok. babe i can't. i'm not ok anymore. i'm running in circles & you know it. really if were not gonna get anywhere, i'm done babe... i can't stand here & be here for you when your not here for me..

big sister melissa katherina le :To let go isn't to forget, not to think about it, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride, and its not about how you appear, and it's not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss. To let go is to cherish memories, to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind in confidence for the future. Letting go is learning, experiencing, and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. letting go is growing up. it is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, to clear a path and let yourself free.

i don't know what to do anymore, i don't know where to go. BUT what we had isn't gonna be a regret i promise you that. i don't know what were gonna be, or how were gonna work our shit out, BUT i loved you... and probally always will