Saturday, February 20, 2010

Never forget

February 20, 2010; Saturday.

It's saturday, the day i've been waiting for, and yet i'm sitting here doing nothing but blogging and homework. This week & this month has just been a bunch of bullshit. I've been sitting around waiting for some guy who couldn't even understand anything i said until i decided it was time to not give up but let go. I've givin you all the time in the world, days, weeks, and even months. I've repeatedly told you how i felt and how things weren't gonna work if you didn't pick up your slack we wouldn't work & all you could say was you were going to change, but tell me, do you see any changes lately? When i pick up and leave you decide to do something? Why re-build some you already broke? I can't wait for you anymore, it's not like waiting for rain, but it's like saying i'm going to really get the pet lion i want. Just impossible. I can't believe you had the nerve to ask me for a second chance... What makes you think if you can't chance for me now, you'll be able to later? You've ran out of chances and i'm done waiting for you. All we can part as are friends. That's all, just friends.


& now i'm starting to gain feelings for someone who i totally fuck'd over... I don't understand how you can still keep me in your life. You may have forgiven me but i will never forgive myself for what i put you through, everything you did for me, i never appricated you. I took you for granted and i never noticed how much pain i put on you... "Never know what you've got until you've lost it". Anyways, i've relized how much time i'm always alone, like i never tell people how i really feel, or how things are going. Me and my beast friend barely talk now of days :( ... We only talk unless we really need each other. I wish some how i get along with girls ! It would make life so much easier. I barely talk to mel now... Danny is busy with his life and i don't wanna bother him. Frank we're still the same it's just the fact we barely associate with each other. Michelle has other things she has to worry about. Yea, its just non sense. I'm kinda scared of Justin Thai graduating... :/ What am i gonna do without him. He's like the most help i get, even though we barely see each other around, and what not. He give this impulsly impact of advice. haha. i sound so smart. My head ache's are coming back ! FML. I was suppose to go out and hang out with the girls but it's a tad bit weird... LOL. Because i don't really talk to anyone but Nicole, Michelle, and Katie. So it's kinda weird to hang out with J & S. No offense, but it's just weird haha. Oh well. Oh the other thing i've realized is that VAD has everything i once had... Like she's living my old life or something O__O... Weird, huh? Oh well nothing i can ever do can change things, things happen for a reason right?. We'll i guess that's all bye bye.